After We Collided (After, #2) by Anna Todd Read Online (FREE)
After that day in your dorm when I fucked up your notes and kissed you against the wall, I was in too deep to stay away. I thought about you constantly. My every thought was consumed by you. I didn’t know what it was at first—I didn’t know why I had become so obsessed with you. The first time that you stayed the night with me is when I knew, KNEW that I loved you. I knew that I would do anything for you. I know that sounds like bullshit now, after all that I’ve put you through, but it’s true. I swear it.
I found myself daydreaming—me daydreaming . . . about the life that I could have with you. I pictured you sitting on the couch with a pen between your teeth and a novel on your lap, your feet on my lap. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t get the image out of my head. It tortured me, wanting you the way that I did and knowing you would never feel the same. I threatened anyone who tried to sit in that seat next to you, threatened Landon, to make sure that I could sit there, just to be near you. I would tell myself over and over that I was only doing all of this weird shit to win the bet. I knew that I was lying to myself, I just wasn’t ready to admit it. I would do shit, like crazy shit, to fuel my obsession with you. I would mark lines in my novels that reminded me of you. Do you want to know the first one? It was, “He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.”
I knew I loved you when I was highlighting fucking Tolstoy.
When I told you I loved you in front of everyone, I meant it—I was just too much of a prick to admit it once you dismissed me. The day that you told me you loved me was the first time I felt like there was hope, hope for me. Hope for us. I don’t know why I kept hurting you and treating you the way that I did. I won’t waste your time with an excuse, because I don’t have one. I just have all these bad instincts and habits, and I’m fighting against them for you. All I know is that you make me happy, Tess. You love me when you shouldn’t, and I need you. I have always needed you and always will. When you left me just last week it nearly killed me, I was so lost. So completely lost without you. I went on a date with someone last week. I wasn’t going to tell you, but I can’t stand to chance losing you again. I wouldn’t even call it a date, really. Nothing happened between us. I almost kissed her, but I stopped myself. I couldn’t kiss her, I couldn’t kiss anyone but you. She was boring, and nothing compared to you. No one is, no one ever will be.