The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides Read Online (FREE)
Dr. West looked pleased. He said we could go downstairs now and rejoin Gabriel. As he went downstairs in front of me, I thought about reaching forward and shoving him down the stairs. I wish I had.
Gabriel seemed much happier on the way home. He kept glancing at me as he was driving and smiling. “Well done. I’m proud of you. We’re going to get through this, you’ll see.”
I nodded but didn’t say anything. Because of course it’s bullshit—“we” aren’t going to get through this.
I’m going to have to deal with it alone.
It was a mistake telling anyone. Tomorrow I’m going to tell Barbie to forget all about it—I’ll say I’ve put it behind me and I don’t want to talk about it again. She’ll think I’m odd and she’ll be annoyed because I’ll be denying her the drama, but if I act normally, she’ll soon forget all about it. As for Gabriel, I’m going to put his mind at rest. I’m going to act like everything is back to normal. I’ll give a brilliant performance. I won’t let my guard slip for a second.
We went to the pharmacy on the way back, and Gabriel got my prescription. Once we were home again, we went into the kitchen.
He gave me the yellow pills with a glass of water. “Take them.”
“I’m not a child. You don’t need to hand them to me.”
“I know you’re not a child. I just want to make sure you’ll take them—and not throw them away.”
“I’ll take them.”
“Go on, then.”
Gabriel watched me put the pills in my mouth and sip some water.
“Good girl,” he said, and kissed my cheek. He left the room.
The moment Gabriel’s back was turned, I spat out the pills. I spat them into the sink and washed them down the drain. I’m not taking any medication. The drugs Dr. West gave me last time nearly drove me crazy. And I’m not going to risk that again.
I need my wits about me now.
I need to be prepared.
I’ve started hiding this diary. There’s a loose floorboard in the spare bedroom. I’m keeping it there, out of sight in the space underneath the floorboards. Why? Well, I’m being too honest here in these pages. It’s not safe to leave it lying around. I keep imagining Gabriel stumbling across the notebook and fighting his curiosity but then opening it and starting to read. If he found out I’m not taking the medication, he’d feel so betrayed, so hurt—I couldn’t bear that.
Thank God I have this diary to write in. It’s keeping me sane. There’s no one else I can talk to.
No one I can trust.
I’ve not been outside for three days. I’ve been pretending to Gabriel that I’m going for walks in the afternoons when he’s out, but it’s not true.
It makes me fearful, the thought of going outside. I’ll be too exposed. At least here, in the house, I know I’m safe. I can sit by the window and monitor the passersby. I’m scanning each face that passes for that man’s face—but I don’t know what he looks like, that’s the problem. He could have removed his disguise and be moving about in front of me, completely unnoticed.